经典笑话

<p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 20px">来源：互联网</span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">一小偷偷了一西瓜</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">边跑边唱</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">随风奔跑自由是方向</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">种西瓜的老太太边追边哭</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">看我流泪</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你头也不回</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">, </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">警察看到了就去追小偷</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">边追边说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">一定是我不够好，所以你才想要逃</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷边跑边说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">沉默加速度</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">是我的脚步</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷被抓住了</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">法官说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">还有什么话要说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">还有多少泪要留</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷哭道</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">求求你给我个机会</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">警察说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">这是对冲动最好的惩罚</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷被带到警察局后两天被放出后说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你总是心太软心太软</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷来到老太太的窗前，老太太正一个人喝酒说：一个人喝醉，好想找个人来陪</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷在窗外说：今夜我又来到你的窗前，窗帘上你的影子多么可爱</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">老太太掀开窗帘说：我们之间有太多的误会！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">小偷说：跟我走吧，天亮就出发！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; FONT-SIZE: 20px">2 </span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">读小学的时候我因为家里穷买不起自行车</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">所以打的回家</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">读初中的时候我因为学习太突出</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">学校留我多读了两年</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">高中校长认为我蛮有前途的多收了我三万块</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">现在的班主任认为我很有独立能力决定让我退了学</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">于是我成了流氓为兄弟两肋插刀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">为美女插兄弟两刀</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">兄弟如手足美女如衣服</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">谁抢我衣服我砍他手足</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">谁动我手足我穿他衣服</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">以前我以为我是个人才</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">可惜我错了我不是</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">没想到我竟然是个天才</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">! </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">靠</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">....</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">无助的我曾想要轻生</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">但是你的出现打消了我的念头</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">给了我生的勇气</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">谢谢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你知道吗我看到你第一眼时想</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你那傻样都能活</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 19px"> </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">我为什么不能哦</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">!</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">恩人啊</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">! </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; FONT-SIZE: 20px">3 </span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">嫁到俺村来嘛</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">! </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">俺村比较富有！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">通信基本靠吼！交通基本靠走！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">耕地基本靠牛！照明基本靠油！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">取暖基本靠抖！治安基本靠狗！</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">发财基本靠偷！美女基本没有</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; FONT-SIZE: 20px">4 </span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">香港回归十周年的庆典上</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">,</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">胡锦涛握住刘德华的手说</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">我认识你</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">刘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">十分激动</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">胡</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你是张学友</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">刘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">热泪盈眶</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">胡</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">你的那首菊花台我很喜欢</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">刘</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">:</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">谢谢毛主席</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"> </span></span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: Times New Roman; FONT-SIZE: 20px">5 </span></p><p style="LINE-HEIGHT: 3em"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; FONT-SIZE: 19px">一农民赶牛车进城被警察拦下，理由是没有车牌。农民愤怒找来一木板写了一牌挂上，警察当场晕倒，只见牌上写着：牛</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px">B—74110     </span></span></p><p>        </p><p></p>